If these concepts are true of everything else I apply myself to that I adore, why wouldn't the same be necessary of a relationship with a person? Or even myself for that matter? There are rules I must apply to keep the pendulum from swinging too far to the left or right. If I am searching for balance in my human interactions, I must also apply rules. I must also apply focus.
Isn't this the hardest part for us? The struggle to always be working when we work so un naturally every day to make money. To pay bills. To afford life. At the end of every day, how hard do I want to work at maintaining a healthy connection with myself or with a partner? The answer for most of us is probably that we don't. Inertia is so much simpler to settle into on any given day. Technology especially affords us so many easy outs. Just sit in front of the tv. Just get on my phone and play some games or look at everyone else's fabulous life for awhile to escape the work of my own. Even now while I am attempting to be creative and apply myself to the discipline of writing, I find myself trying to justify a break to check twitter. I have been sitting here for about forty minutes. I don't quite think I deserve a break yet in the middle of completing complex thoughts on biology and how to maintain a successful life in this confusing world.
I know that my body is not built for a life like this. It is simple science. My body evolved to live a different life and technology took us further, faster than my cells could catch up. As I attempt to simply maintain, my emotional stability is what takes the brunt of the punches. If I blog, if I write, it must be to help enforce discipline. I also have other... ambitions where writing is concerned and always have. More on that another time. For now, I am coming to a place in my life where I am seeking feedback and honesty from friends, loved ones and acquaintances. I'm feeling like transparency is a practice and discipline all on it's own.
So I would be grateful always for comments and feedback if you read. I would be grateful for bonding and communion in a positive way in this medium as I attempt to rebuild the discipline and be brave. If I am brave, I have to put things out there and not care if anyone thinks it's stupid, cheesy or weird. Being intimidated by the negativity of others, shy and self conscious only ever got me stuck in a rut. Being brave and bold has only every gotten me strength, love and more beauty in my life. All of my heroes were brave. They gave no fucks if they sounded dumb sometimes and when someone criticized them openly, they recognized the insecurity in the other person and proceeded forward full steam ahead no matter what.
So cheers to that.
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